I don’t even know where to start today, but I feel like I should be writing. Tomorrow night marks 4 weeks exactly since we took Missy to the emergency vet. Monday marks 4 weeks from when we found out about her tumor and were told that we should put her to sleep the next day. The day before yesterday, she caught and killed a mole. She was very very proud. Later that day, she sprinted across the yard as fast as she can. Today, we went outside and she sniffed around a lot. She felt good enough to jump up on her hind legs for a treat and she has smiled a lot today.
If we had listened to the specialist in Greenville, we would have missed out on an entire month with our baby girl. An entire good, happy month which she has felt good for most of. Dr. Brandon Adley at Upstate Veterinary Specialists in Greenville, SC told us that we should give Missy prednisone to keep her comfortable through the night and advised us to end her suffering the next morning. I can never ever thank Dr. Hutsell of Fairview Animal Hospital enough for calling my home after he saw that we had made an appointment to put Missy to sleep the next day. He told my mom that there was no reason to rush things and that we should try giving her honey every two hours to regulate her blood sugar. It has worked quite well so far and she seems to be in pretty good shape.
My grandmother, on the other hand, seems to be deteriorating. Since I’m not there with her, I can’t say that for sure, but her voice sounds very weak and there are noticeable changes to her personality. I hope that I get to go see her soon and I also hope that radiation and chemotherapy pills are effective in shrinking her tumor.
I went on a hike with some friends last weekend and one of them said that she would want to be with me if she got lost in the woods. This was largely due to the fact that I carried enough supplies in my backpack for our day hike to keep us doing pretty well if we got stuck in DuPonte Forest overnight. She said that in addition to my preparedness, I offer comic relief. I hadn’t really thought about it until the past few months, but I definitely use humor to diffuse tense or uncomfortable situations, even if the situation is only uncomfortable to me. This results in me being a smart ass and often not seeming as respectful as I intend to be.
I am exhausted. I am physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. Trying to deal with everything all at once is incredibly overwhelming, so I’m trying really hard to keep myself busy and only think about one issue at a time.
That’s all for tonight.